27 Jul

Jun. 28th, 2007

From Charles F. Cooper comes this fairly accurate telling of the tale, peppered with wit that plays upon the myths, misinformation and generally obsessiveness of the Lizzie Borden case. Using illustrations that are both insightful and funny, this 15 minute read is well worth the time.

Here’s an excerpt:
As Lizzie walked in, Abby turned toward her stepdaughter and immediately got the first whack of the day. It was upside the head and if it didn’t knock her out (or worse), it at least knocked her down. From the posture of the body, we can guess she may still have been conscious and instinctively turned face down for protection. If so, that was fine with Lizzie, who standing astride her stepmother, began to flail away at the back of her head. Eighteen more chops and she figured the job well done. She was correct.

There are, though, problems with this scenario although it remains the most probable one. Certainly, the required technical finesse raises some questions. Although there were nearly a hundred splats of blood in the room – on the wall, on the dresser, and on the bed – Lizzie was clean. The question, then and now, was whether she could have had time to hose down both herself and the hatchet so thoroughly that the best forensic tests of the day couldn’t detect any blood.

For the entire article, here’s the link:

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Posted by on July 27, 2007 in Just for Laughs


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