Talk about timing! Earlier this evening I posted about the first photos of Kim Kardashian walking and with her baby on my Facebook page.
Kim still gripping her designer bag.
Well, as luck would have it, I was just given a copy of the secret taping in the post delivery room soon after Kim gave birth to her baby girl. Here is a transcript:
Dr. Delivery: So, how are you feeling, Kim?
KK: How do you think? Look at me. I’m a mess.
DD: That’s to be expected. Actually, you look fine. Would you like to see your little baby daughter now?
KK: You’ve got to be kidding! Like this? Khloe, hand me my mirror……Oh….My…..God.
Kris Jenner: Oh honey, you don’t look bad. Really.
KK: Easy for you to say, you didn’t go through what I just did.
KJ: Uh, actually I did. Seven times.
KK: Look at my stomach! Doctor, can you prescribe something for me to make my stomach go flat?
DD: It will reduce faster if you breastfeed.
KK: Breastfeed??? No way. Khloe hand me my lipstick.
Kourtney Kardashian: Kim, you don’t want to put on lipstick – you’ll get it all over the baby.
KK: Not if I don’t kiss her, I won’t. I’ll just pat her on the head and hug her, right honey?
Kanye West: (standing in a corner of the room, head down) Don’t look at me. Don’t even talk to me.
KK: Doctor, I am so stressed. I absolutely have to get my weight back to at least ten pounds LESS than I was before I got pregnant,. I can’t be photographed until I look amazing.
Bruce Jenner: I’ll design a work-out program for you.
Kris: Leave her alone, Bruce. I don’t even know why you’re here.
DD: I’ve sent the nurse for the baby, Kim. It will do your spirits good to see her.
KK: Doctor, I can not be seen in public until I look absolutely fabulous. I want you to prescribe something that will accelerate my weight loss.
DD: As I’ve recommended, breast feed for ….well, just try it for 3 months.
Kourtney K: It worked for me.
KK: Well, I’m not you, am I? You don’t have the obligations and work load I have do you. Isn’t that right, honey (looks at Kanye).
Kanye: Why are you talking to me?
KK: Mom, have you found a Nanny yet? I’m not, repeat, I am not, going to be changing poop out of a diaper when I get home. I’m not, I’m not, I’m not. (Checks herself again in mirror).
Nurse: Here’s your little daughter.
KK: Wait. Kourtney, take this mirror. Khloe, take this lipstick. Mom, hand me a tissue.
Nurse hands Kim the baby. Kim puts tissue on top of baby’s head, bends her head down and purses her lips about 3 inches from baby’s head.
KK: There. Doctor, Don’t you think I’m doing a good job bonding? (smiles)
DD: Yes, ma’m. Absolutely. You’re the best mother I’ve seen all day. Well, I better go and start my rounds. Goodbye ladies, Bruce, Mr. West.
KW: (still in the corner, still looking down) Don’t talk to me.
KK: Here mom, you take her. I’m exhausted. Khloe, hand me my Blackberry.