Christina Ricci’s Lizzie Borden Marries Abraham Lincoln – Vampire Hunter

27 Jan


If you enjoyed last January’s (2014) showing of “Lizzie Borden Had an Axe” on the Lifetime Movie Channel, did (do) you also like the series Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter?  (The latter was developed from the 2010 film  produced by Tim Burton)  Did the ALVH series make you want to –

Visit the Lincoln monument and tour Washington, DC?

Study the Civil War?

Tour Gettysburg?

Visit Springfield, Mass.?

Did you feel compelled to order some biographies on Abraham Lincoln?

Rush out to Redbox or sign up with Netflix and order some documentaries or films on Abraham Lincoln?

No?   Didn’t think so.

If you enjoyed Christina Ricci in the Lifetime Movie Channel’s version of Lizzie Borden and looking forward to her coming back as a serial killer with unleashed sexual lust, do you think it will make you want to –

Visit Fall River, MA?

Tour the Lizzie Borden Bed & Breakfast/Museum where the actual murders of 1892 took place?

Book a room for an overnight stay at the LBB&B?

Explore the Fall River Historical Society and Oak Grove Cemetery?

Travel to Fall River and gaze upon “Maplecroft”, the real house she lived in post Trial?

Rent documentaries on the Borden case?

Purchase or rent books written on the Borden case?

Do some genealogical research on the Borden family?

Google “Lizzie Borden” for sites that deal with facts of the case?

No?  Didn’t think so.

I don’t think a single one of 8 upcoming episodes of the “Lizzie Borden Chronicles” will inspire or motivate the viewers to any of the above.  I think the series will attract those who like their television dramas sexy, bloody, and requiring a minimal amount of cerebral effort.  Now, that’s not to say it won’t have entertainment value and draw a big audience.  On the contrary.  I’m just saying it won’t bear any resemblance to the real Lizzie Borden or anything about what she did and what happened to her post Trial.   The Network and producers (including the executive producer, Ms. Ricci, who has a stake in the ratings and not just a salary)  have already verified this by stating it is all fiction not based on fact.  To this I say, then why pimp out the name “Lizzie Borden”?  Could it be just for ratings?

Clearly, the Network sold the series by capitalizing on the 4.4 million viewers from last January, knowing their odds where so much better than to come up with the same story-line with a title like, oh, say “The Lizzie Schwartz Chronicles”   That would have been a  much harder pitch.

I like what Richard Behrens, author of the fictional but highly entertaining and well written, Lizzie Borden, Girl Detective  had to say on Stefani Koorey’s Facebook page about the Christina Ricci version of Lizzie Borden:


Richard BehrensStef, its great you loved the movie. I can definitely see how someone would like it and I’ve watched it about three times so far I’m just not there with you. Although I admire a few things about it, I just don’t like it. I thought it was a misfire for many reasons. I’m not objecting because of any historical inaccuracies (I loved the off-Broadway musical which left historical accuracy behind in the dust). I do feel that it would have taken very little to patch up some of the inaccuracies, and their failure to do says a lot about their desitre to have another teen slasher film rather than make a film about Lizzie Borden. The film seems highly targeted to a specific type of audience, those who devour Jane Austen Zombie Slashing mash-ups in which the Bennett Sisters court Mr. Darcy while occassionally cracking open zombie skulls with axes. And they turned Lizzie Borden into a teenager (by choosing an acress who looks about 15 years old) rather than Montgomery who portrayed her as a woman. It was lush, slick, atmospheric and had a few good acting performances, but I thought Ricci was horrible and the absolutely worst actress for the role. I would have preferred a strong performance by a better actress. As for the upcoming TV series, I think my historical accuracy hat must prevail: it’s one thing to depict Lizzie killing her father and step-mother (she may have in real life), but depictiong her as a serial killer, that’s as dumb as depicting her a girl detective…uh…hmm. No comment.”

The above was in response to her blog post HERE.

There was a time when Stefani would have blasted to high heavens the inaccuracy of that January production.  However, I think it more than just a bit transparent she is playing it safe in deliberately not maligning – but rather praising – the production in hopes her self-declared “talking head” celebrity on the case will garner her future connections for on-screen time as a case scholar or credited consultant.  Give it a rest, Stef, ain’t gonna happen.

A production company that doesn’t even bother to shoot in the State of Massachusetts, incorporate photographs or depict what the house at 92 Second Street actually looks like, let alone utilize the expertise of the curators or the archives of the Fall River Historical Society in its first production “based on the real Lizzie Borden”  is sure as hell not going to seek out “talking heads” on the subsequent 8 episodes advertised as “fiction”.

If there’s a marriage between the Lizzie Borden Chronicles and Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter any offspring will surely be maniacal, blood-sucking, size 2 teenagers with axes for hands, pansy broaches for eyes and a passion that all people are created equal – especially programming execs on the Lifetime Movie Channel.  😉

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Posted by on January 27, 2015 in Uncategorized


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