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To All The Lame-brain, Lazy-ass, Semi-literate People Who Think Lizzie Borden “Killed her parents with an axe”……

01 Jun

….because you’ve watched all those paranormal ghost chasing shows, or you saw the TV film with Elizabeth Montgomery or you’ve googled “Lizzie Borden” and seen her image as a teenager or twenty-something dripping in blood and wielding an axe.  Maybe it was a documentary, or you just heard it so much (she did it) that you’ve come to believe it.   — Well, I have this to say to you:

Click image for larger view.

READ A FUCKING BOOK!!!!

And preferably, THIS ONE.

Maybe the book is beyond your financial reach, but you could at least read the Review.  At least indulge yourself to become significantly more enlightened in just the time it takes you to read the Review.   Oh sure, you can skip it.  You might say it “Would take too much of my time and I need to text my BFF on something really important.”  Or maybe you’re satisfied with legends over fact and don’t want to crack your kharma.  Come on, get your head out of your asses for a change and……

READ A FUCKING BOOK.  BUT PLEASE, IF YOU LEARN ANYTHING, LEARN THIS:

1)   THE MURDER WEAPON WAS A HATCHET, NOT AN AXE.

2)    LIZZIE WAS 32 AT THE TIME OF THE MURDERS.

3)    SHE WAS ACQUITTED.  (That means found “Not Guilty).

To all my readers who know the facts of the case, who DO read books, and don’t buy into all that misinformation out there – this post,most respectfully, was not intended for you.

But to all the others, once again:

            READ A FUCKING BOOK!!!

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2 responses to “To All The Lame-brain, Lazy-ass, Semi-literate People Who Think Lizzie Borden “Killed her parents with an axe”……

  1. Anonymous

    June 7, 2012 at 2:45 PM

    The Fall River Police are still searching for clues and have a subject in custody .

     
  2. Ryan

    November 8, 2012 at 8:58 AM

    My favourite post thus far!

     

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